We are young only once, after that we need some other excuse. Happy Birthday!
- Unknown
- Unknown
Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang, 'Happy Birthday.'
- Steven Wright
- Steven Wright
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.
- Father Larry Lorenzoni
- Father Larry Lorenzoni
A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.
- Erma Bombeck
- Erma Bombeck
First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly.
- Branch Rickey
- Branch Rickey
People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit.
Birthdays are nature's way of telling us to eat more cake.
- Anonymous
- Anonymous
There is still no cure for the common birthday.
- John Glenn
- John Glenn
