It is an honour to be with someone so honest, caring, loving, brilliant, good looking, soft spoken etc, like you. I am privileged to have gained the opportunity to host your birthday party and spend your hard-earned executive salary. It also delights me to even imagine how great I will feel to smash a whole cake on your face. Do not forget the birthday bumps. I literally have been practicing kickboxing for a fortnight for this day. Have a bumpy Birthday dude.
I wish I had a time-turner. Then I could have gone back to our childhood time and would have given birthday bumps to you every year. It saddens me so much to see that how many years we were unknown to each other and I missed the opportunity to beat you black and blue. It is time to compensate for the undone work. This is the day when you can do well with some kicks on your bum. The most delighting thing is, you cannot even attack your attackers back as it is your birthday. Get ready for the show dude and Happy Birthday.