Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
- Hanlon's Razor
Ninety percent of everything is crap.
- Sturgeon's Law
Doing it the hard way is always easier.
- Murphy's Paradox
If you put a spoonful of wine in a barrel full of sewage, you get sewage. If you put a spoonful of sewage in a barrel full of wine, you get sewage.
- Schopenhauer's Law of Entropy
An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing.
- Weber's Definition
If there are two or more ways to do something, and one of those ways can result in a catastrophe, then someone will do it.
- Murphy's Law
Everyone has a scheme that will not work.
- Howe's Law
Any technical problem can be overcome given enough time and money. You are never given enough time or money.
- Lerman's Law of Technology
Teamwork is essential. It allows you to blame someone else.
- Finagle's Eighth Rule
Whatever happens, look as if you intended it to happen.
- First Rule of Acting
If you know something can go wrong, and take due precautions against it, something else will go wrong.
- Patry's Law
If it's worth doing, it's worth overdoing.
- Rogers' Law
Nobody really cares or understands what anyone else is doing.
- Law of the Individual
No two identical parts are alike.
- Beach's Law
You can't fall off the floor.
- Paul's Law
If you can keep your head when everyone about you is losing his, then you just don't understand the problem.
- Evans' Law
Life is too serious to be taken very seriously.
- Jilly and Rob's Conclusion
There is no limit to how bad things can get.
- Hane's Law
Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
- Murphy's Law
Smile... tomorrow will be worse.
- The Murphy Philosophy
Everything takes longer than you think.
- Murphy's Law
Every solution breeds new problems.
- Murphy's Law
Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.
- Murphy's Constant
If anything can go wrong, it will.
- Murphy's Law
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
- Murphy's Law
