Bill Maher Quotes Slideshow

Quotes

View all the Bill Maher quotes in a slideshow.

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You know, if you're an American and you're born at this time in history especially, you're lucky. We all are. We won the world history Powerball lottery.
-Bill Maher

Cornbread isn't bread. It's cake.
-Bill Maher

Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you know, to send the right message to kids.
-Bill Maher

The "Power of One" is a slogan--not a goal.
-Bill Maher

Anyone who is elected mayor of a place called "Sin City" is allowed to be a drunk.
-Bill Maher

We have a Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.
-Bill Maher

I never thought I'd say this, what Obama needs in his personality is a little George Bush.
-Bill Maher

I'll show you Obama's birth certificate when you show me Sarah Palin's high school diploma.
-Bill Maher

Religion to me is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need.
-Bill Maher

I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws?
-Bill Maher

I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder.
-Bill Maher

Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex.
-Bill Maher

I have a high state of resentment for the conformity in this country. If you're not married and having children, it's like your life is empty or you're a communist meanie.
-Bill Maher

Saddam Hussein is Hitler like Oasis was The Beatles
-Bill Maher

We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels and free thinkers. It's overrun with sheep and conformists.
-Bill Maher

Maybe every other American movie shouldn't be based on a comic book. Other countries will think Americans live in an infantile fantasy land where reality is whatever we say it is and every problem can be solved with violence.
-Bill Maher

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.
-Bill Maher

We are a nation that is unenlightened because of religion. I do believe that. I think religion stops people from thinking. I think it justified crazies.
-Bill Maher

I want to see riots! I want to see the kind of riots where cab drivers are afraid to pick up white people! I want to see this guy!
-Bill Maher

The Bible looks like it started out as a game of Mad Libs.
-Bill Maher

You know... there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time.... husband!!!
-Bill Maher

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