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"Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall."
- Larry Wilde
"Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, he must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, must be a pacifist. What's in that pipe that he's smoking?"
- Arlo Guthrie
People really act weird at Christmas time! What other time of year do you sit in front of a dead tree in the living room and eat nuts and sweets out of your socks?
-Author Unknown
Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.
- Larry Wilde
"Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit."
- Kin Hubbard
"Let me see if I've got this Santa business straight. You say he wears a beard, has no discernible source of income and flies to cities all over the world under cover of darkness? You sure this guy isn't laundering illegal drug money?"
- Tom Armstrong
"Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present."
- Author Unknown
"Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit."
- Author Unknown
"The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband."
- Joan Rivers
"There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus."
- Bob Phillips