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"Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall." - Larry Wilde
"Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, he must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, must be a pacifist. What's in that pipe that he's smoking?" - Arlo Guthrie
"Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of this day - the birth of Santa?" - Bart Simpson
People really act weird at Christmas time! What other time of year do you sit in front of a dead tree in the living room and eat nuts and sweets out of your socks? -Author Unknown
Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall. - Larry Wilde
"You know you're getting old, when Santa starts looking younger." - Robert Paul
"Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit." - Kin Hubbard
"It's the holiday season. Let the overeating begin!" - Melanie White
"You know you're getting old, when Santa starts looking younger.' - Robert Paul
"Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year." - Victor Borge
"Let me see if I've got this Santa business straight. You say he wears a beard, has no discernible source of income and flies to cities all over the world under cover of darkness? You sure this guy isn't laundering illegal drug money?" - Tom Armstrong
"Christmas is the season when you buy this year's gifts with next year's money." - Author Unknown
"Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present." - Author Unknown
"Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas." - Kin Hubbard
"Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit." - Author Unknown
"The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband." - Joan Rivers
"There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus." - Bob Phillips
