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"Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas." - Kin Hubbard
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"Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of this day - the birth of Santa?" - Bart Simpson
"It's the holiday season. Let the overeating begin!" - Melanie White
"Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, He must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, Must be a pacifist. What's in that pipe that he's smoking?" - Arlo Guthrie
"I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph." - Shirley Temple
"I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included."- Bernard Manning
"Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year." - Victor Borge
