Humorous Christmas Quotes

Christmas is just like doing
Work in your office, think about it
You are doing all the work
Day in and day out
And credit is taken by some fat guy around
As Santa takes the credit of Christmas fun
Haha..Wish you a Merry Christmas!

"Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year."
- By Victor Borge

All the party people
All the fun in your heart
Christmas is about to come
So let us make a welcome start
With all the list prepared
With all the tasks up there
Wishing you a Merry Christmas!

In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went to church; the Jews called it 'Hanukkah' and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say 'Merry Christmas!' or 'Happy Hanukkah!' or (to the atheists) 'Look out for the wall!'
- Dave Barry

"Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas."
- Johnny Carson

"The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other."
- Johnny Carson

I do not actually ask things from Santa
Just the random things he may give
But this year I am asking for a slimmer me
And a bank account to compliment me
Last year it happened just the opposite
And there was nothing I could do about
Merry Christmas to you!

"There is a remarkable breakdown of taste and intelligence at Christmastime. Mature, responsible grown men wear neck ties made of holly leaves and drink alcoholic beverages with raw egg yolks and cottage cheese in them."
- P.J. O'Rourke

"Who's the bane of Santa's life? The elf and safety officer."
- By Catherine Tate

"There are some people who want to throw their arms round you simply because it is Christmas; there are other people who want to strangle you simply because it is Christmas."
- Robert Lynd

"Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time."
- Doug Coupland

"Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven."
- W. C. Fields

"I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays."
- Henny Youngman

"Unless we make Christmas an occasion to share our blessings, all the snow in Alaska won't make it "white".'
- Bing Crosby

Once again we will get excited
With season's choicest delights
And more excited about the Christmas lights
With shopping at heavy discounts
Finding the right price
Once again we will celebrate the
Christmas night,
Merry Christmas!

People do not really love the mess created
In their homes day a night
But one mess they just love to create
And that is when one decorates the
Christmas tree in the night
A time with so much radiance
A time that is so much fun
Merry Christmas!

"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live."
- George Carlin

People get really get worried
That they have gained weight between
Christmas and the new year
Actually they should worry about the
Period till the new year
When they actually have lots of stuff
Merry Christmas to you!