Humorous Christmas Quotes

In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went to church; the Jews called it 'Hanukkah' and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say 'Merry Christmas!' or 'Happy Hanukkah!' or (to the atheists) 'Look out for the wall!'
- Dave Barry

"Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven."
- W. C. Fields

Once again we will get excited
With season's choicest delights
And more excited about the Christmas lights
With shopping at heavy discounts
Finding the right price
Once again we will celebrate the
Christmas night,
Merry Christmas!

One fat man will come to you
Ring the bell of your door too
He would quietly put you in a bag
And bring you to me Christmas
Because I have told Santa
That I want you as my Christmas gift
So don't you panic on this!

"The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other."
- Johnny Carson

"Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time."
- Doug Coupland

All the party people
All the fun in your heart
Christmas is about to come
So let us make a welcome start
With all the list prepared
With all the tasks up there
Wishing you a Merry Christmas!